It is amazing how many mistakes or misadventures you can total up in one life. I think a reflective life takes you back by things you once believed and some commitments you have made. It is surprising to me sometimes how many things I have believed radically in the past that I think are pretty stupid now.
The great and cagey Augustine in his latter years wrote a book title “Retractions.” It’s like trudging through the mud to read but it is impressive. He reviews misbeliefs and missteps carefully. He believed at the end of his life it was time to edit his life for the sake of the rest of us and to prepare himself for his meeting with the Lord he loved.
I used to be a devotee of the death penalty for example. But in my recent years I am not. My wife gets quite angry with me (she is an advocate of the death penalty) about my retraction. But I think there are so many issues the Catholic Church has right. I have to go with them on this one. I suspect many will hold me in suspicion or write me off for my change in beliefs.
I have led a couple occupants of death row to Christ. And it is amazing how similar they are to the rest of us. I am moved to thanks for my gene pool and upbringing when I think of these men. I also think death is the easy way out. I think a life of hard labor is a greater deterrent than a simple puncture wound with the death needle.
I am as passionate as ever but about fewer things. My passion keeps getting closer to just being for Jesus as each year passes by. I also confused strong hand tactics as leadership for a few years. I would love to have a few lectures on leadership back.
I flipped through Augustine’s Retractions last week and it has gotten me editing my life every since. Its not a bad exercise.
