The London Times ran an article on a visit to England by Neil Young. He has a new movie coming out titled the Freedom of Speech Tour with Crosby, Stills and Nash. Besides aspirations for his music that lies ahead he is developing a battery-operated car. He has taken a 1959 Lincoln and converted it into an electric car. His goal is to be rid of roadside gas stations and replace them with self-generating power sources. He thinks his car could actually put power back into the house plug rather than deplete it.

Neil Young has always humored me. He is one of those “going to change the world guys” from my generation. He plays like someone just dumped some ants down his pants. Kids like him and have for decades. He looks as heavy as I do now. He has produced a bit of a paunch and like me has accepted it as part of this era of his life.

He is selling his vintage guitar collection to fund the electric car project. I once sold 20 of my guitars, some of which were vintage, to finance a new ministry. It’s hard to let go of a vintage guitar. You do have to hand it to him that he is taking on the vision by himself and not just talking about it. He does drive a Hummer run on biofuel. So when he drives he is just driving up the price of food.

There aren’t enough characters like Neil around. The outrageous comes off normal with him. Imagine taking your neighbor’s Lincoln and tearing the engine out of it and loading it with batteries of all sorts. Detroit can’t do it but Neil can? It just may be a guy like Neil who’ll save us all.

My mother always said "Believe you can do anything and you may possibly see it happen." I am an optimist about our present crisis economically and politically. I can’t help it. I honestly think someone is finally going to get serious about another form of energy and travel finally. Things have a bit to go before things are as bad as they were in 1990. I remember 1990. I had just led a congregation in building a multi-million dollar facility and the economy dropped hard. Everyone acted like it was my fault. We had to do cuts to survive.

I also remember the dot.com hit in 1987; I had friends who lost 100’s of thousands of dollars in that drop. I remember the vacuous look on the congregation’s faces that Sunday. We made it without cuts that time. But my nerves were rattled.

I am pretty positive about where will end up this time. I think things are so complex now it’s hard to know if what the papers are saying will happen will in fact burst on the scene. Whatever comes eventually things will be better. Maybe we’ll be a lot less greedy for a while now. But then who knows.

I’m sticking with Neil. It’s not time to give up on your Lincoln. No, its time to take the engine out of the thing and plug it into your wall socket. I like that attitude. Go Neil!!!

Good communication has to do as much with what you don’t say as what you do say. I am a short preacher. I preach shorter for three reasons. One, it’s easy to maintain a strong devotion to our children’s ministry with shorter services. But our habits are to continue adding more and more features to our programs until we are cluttered and overloaded. Two, if you get a year’s worth of words in one week you aren’t likely to come back next week. Third, one good clear point is all people will remember anyway.

I think each of us have a capacity for a set number of words a day. Some people use up a lot of our words a day. A good communicator leaves people with a bit of a reserve. Just because I have some space for words in my brain doesn’t mean you should take more than your fair share. Some people have a higher capacity for words than others, Communicating means hitting the mark in terms of numbers of words your listeners can take.

A good song is whittled down to its simplest essence. Harry Nilsson had a multi-platinum hit record that only had one cord in it. I know the guitarist on the record and he said they worked days on the song with only an E cord. Simple is better. A bad song is a complex song. Who remembers many songs by Yes? Ok you don’t know who they are. That proves my point. I love Yes and have met some of the group. But their music was more complex than the untrained ear could hear.

Good songwriters know what to take out of a song. Knowing what to leave in is tough but that exercise is meaningless without the ability to slice and cut. One guitarist I know who is world class says if he could do a solo with just one note he would love it. “Every note you add,” he says. “You increase the possibility of not being heard.”

Now we are in our campaign season. And we are already getting promise after promise. New ideas and programs are thrust at us daily. I don’t think it takes much imagination to come up with something new to spend money on. I think the most creative politicians are those who know what to cut out. What can we live without is the best question? There is just too much stuff out there.

Quality of life is as much about what you leave out as what you let in. I made a list of the self-development steps I wanted to make over the next year. My list was long. I soon realized that to do my self-development projects I would need 80 hours a week. I saw something had to give. I had to decide what to cut out. And that is hard work. I had to find the things that brought the most joy, fulfillment and character development. My list has been limited to four things now. And I just might achieve them.

Skillful living requires editing your life to leave out the inexpedient. My friend Jamie Buckingham (noted writer) said the greatest strength a man possessed was the ability to say no. He was perpetually over-committed but he had a good idea even though he had trouble living it. I am looking at my whole life now and trying to discover what needs to go. I know saving my money requires leaving things out. Enjoying my relationship with my wife means saying no to competing commitments. And growing in Christ requires my saying no to many things before I usually get to the yes to Him.

I have mapped out ten possible things to leave out of your life:

1. Things that wear you out.
2. Things that cost more than you have.
3. Relationships that don’t promote health.
4. Late nights and long hours.
5. Hobbies that make you choose over loved ones.
6. Things that confuse you with their complexity.
7. Political speeches.
8. Anything that interrupts your sleep.
9. Bad habits that drain you or your resources.
10. Things that cost a great deal to keep up.

Marijuana was the 60’s drug of choice. And in 2008 it still is. Today’s supply is about 50 times more powerful than the stuff sold in the 60’s. Therefore the habituation factor is much higher today. I think we are being too slack as healers and as a society about the drug. It is in my estimation a plague that is waging war on our spiritual life and is responsible for a great deal of inattention to the gospel.

Showtime runs a sitcom called, “Weeds.” It is about a widowed housewife who went into the marijuana business to support her family. It is a funny show if the contents weren’t so tragic. The show accurately portrayed business types and professional’s predilection for the drug. “Weed” is still the drug of choice of professionals. It is for sure not just students on high school and college campuses that are drawing deep breaths from joints.

The dangerous part about pot is it appears to be so benign. It isn’t nearly as benign as many parents today think it is. We now know that longer-term use has been shown to cause occasional schizophrenia-like symptoms. And still today it remains the gateway drug along with cigarettes into opiates, methamphetamines, cocaine and a range of prescription drugs. Most of the time people will try pot before they experiment with other drugs. Again I am absolutely persuaded that marijuana is THE most dangerous drug available because of this.

We also know that marijuana effects the area of the brain that enhances ambition. The drug depletes ambition. It can cause one’s life to stop as though a pause button was hit.

It is also a proven cause of depression. It is a depressant and when smoked often it can cause depression-like symptoms to plague the user. And depression we now know is not so harmless at all.

Habituation is definitely less dangerous than physical addiction. But habituation to marijuana can leave all kinds of emotional damage that isn’t easily overcome. People are more and more finding themselves in the place that they cannot quit using without some outside intervention.

But the most dangerous aspect of the drug’s use is it is a counterfeit spiritual experience. I feel principalities drive it that seek to neutralize the truth with false religious experiences that block out the seeking heart. I am fully persuaded that an awakening in our culture is being resisted by this plague. The drug was used by numerous ancient cultures as part of religious rites. And it still carries religious currents in its use.

When I have shared my panic over the trend toward normalizing pot I get statements like these, “It’s better than driving drunk.” Or, “It’s not addictive after all.” And, “It’s just good clean recreation.” Heart disease doesn’t kill, as quickly as cyanide so which is better.

It may not be addictive but it carries the baggage of an entire worldview. And the sensation the drug offers comes straight out of the brain’s God talk area. I remember well in my college days smoking pot and pontificating about the cosmic issues of life. It was a spiritual experience. I found the Holy Spirit to be a much more profound guide into spiritual things. But for a time the allure of pot was strong.

Pot is mostly evil because it stops the pursuit of God. It takes away from a culture the quest for spiritual reality. It weakens the human will even more than alcohol in my opinion. And most of all it looks so safe.

I think and I am praying that there will be a swing back toward their being a stigma about using the drug. I am hopeful that trafficking in the drug will not be winked at any more but pursued to the max. And that drug testing for pot will increase in the marketplace and schools.

I know a young woman who was an avid pot smoker in college who stopped using the drug. She stopped for one reason. She went to work for a bank that did regular random testing for drug use. Business could do a big part on our war against drugs (I think we still have one of those) by making drug use incompatible with employment in their firms.

And let me add. I am not a cranky old guy. Nor am I an alarmist. Nor am I out of touch with trends. And neither am I unrealistic about what can be expected. What I am is an evangelist and I don’t like what I am facing fighting this plague. We can throw down spiritual powers that drive these things out but first we have to stop letting them lull us to sleep.

Sometimes Christianity can become more like empiricism than the supernatural revelation it is. And it is just as easy to begin to see the presentation of messages as good self-help material. Does preaching have to be pragmatic? Well, first, I think so, yes. But it is always more than that. It is supernatural.

A church can lose its moorings in the power of miracle if things have to be logical and always make sense. And on the other hand if everything has to be mystical and not make rational sense you end up with a scary blend of emotion and superstition.

I have decided I need to revisit the supernatural revelation side of my experience a little more. I have started my quest by preparing a message on, of all things, angels. You don’t get much more other-worldly than angels. I read Billy Graham’s book on the title, and I went through most of the 300 references to angels in the Bible. And found a new vision of reality I left out. I believe angels are part of our present tense walk with God. I don’t understand totally how or it wouldn’t be supernatural. They are, after, all beyond nature.

I feel a bit like I did when I wrote a book on dreams and found out two things. First over a lifetime a person will have between 100,000 and 120,000 dreams. Joseph had almost two handfuls of dreams that were from God as revelation as best we can tell. I also found that about 1/3 of all major biblical events were introduced through dreams. Now I have thought about that one over the years for sure. I have had two dreams that I think were revelatory. One of them I had repeatedly for several years. I was preaching in my church and kept being told I was in the wrong place. It was almost haunting but not in an evil way. The day I resigned that church after 19 years the dreams stopped and have never returned.

I haven’t seen my personally assigned angel that I know of yet. I have had some situations that I was suspicious of some mighty spiritual intervention that was different from the Holy Spirit’s moving. But I don’t feel safe enough with you to tell you about them. I suspect when my time is up and I stand before Jesus one of the ceremonies will be to introduce me to my personal angel. I will have to apologize.

I am attaching with this brief memo here the outline notes for my message on angels. Enjoy them and take the time to consider that the world just might be far less mundane than we think.

Angels Message Outline.

Emotional Intelligence has been written about a great deal by Dr. Daniel Goleman. It has become a substantial discussion in leadership. The sobriety prayer best defines emotional Intelligence. It goes, “Grant me the courage to change what can be changed, the patience to accept what cannot, and the wisdom to know the difference.” I think a lot of religious frustration that makes the church look crazy comes from a lack of praying this prayer and possessing emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence is the ability, as Aristotle describes it:

“To be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way.”

Jesus, of course, was the perfect model of this kind of anger. There is an anger that heals both the angry one and the recipient of the anger. But there is also anger that destroys both.

Every effective leader has one thing that angers them. For some it’s the thought that African children go without a cure for malaria. For many large church pastors it is the thought that their cities would go unreached for Jesus. And for others it’s the thought that a child would grow up in an abusive home.

What’s the core anger that drives your passion and concern? Most non-leaders aren’t angry with much of anything. Or they are angry about trivial things that make little or no difference. Some are angry they aren’t as popular as another. Some that they didn’t have the chances in childhood that some had. This is wasted anger.

Tell me what makes you angry and I can predict your greatness. And if I know the level of your anger I can predict your effectiveness. Some are angry about the right thing but just not angry enough. Properly nurtured anger becomes ebullient passion.

I encourage new church leaders to discover the anger that will drive their life. I think for Jesus it was the fact that His Father’s kingdom was rejected and unheeded. Paul couldn’t stand the thought of Gentiles being left outside the promises of God.

Great leaders learn to healthily feed this question, “What is it I can’t live with?” Or, “What has to change before I will sleep a peaceful night.” Life takes energy to succeed. And not many have enough energy to feed their dreams. The healthy presence of anger unleashes necessary levels of energy to get the job done.

I am beginning my second significant pastoral role. It is interesting to me that I still have the fire after thirty years to want to see thousands meet Christ and the risk taking passion to see it happen. It struck me the other day that the same anger that has driven me for several decades still drives me today. I can’t stand the thought that lost people – not one – will face life and death without the knowledge of a savior who loves them. And with that that there must be a church where irreligious people can understand what we mean by all this Jesus stuff. I am angry about religion that confuses. And I am angry about lies that lock the human soul in despair.

What makes you angry? You ought to find that out before you take another step. The answer to this question could show you the future that lies ahead.

Every so often a great idea comes along and a great partnership. Both have happened to me on more than one occasion. Steve Sjogren, a noted author and leader and I are teaming up to do seminars in churches titled “New Evangelism.”

It is an intuitive set of four sessions. The first five we are offering at bargain levels to get a track record and line up some satisfied customers. If you are interested call me at 206-391-9814. We are looking to speak to groups of 100 to 300. No less no more please. We see the sessions being built around the interest and needs of the group and a minimalist design for the curriculum, but well worth it. Steve and I have been doing this a long time. We have presented such material together a few times as well. We will transform the level of evangelism in your church.

Call me or email me at dbraveheart@earthlink.net. Just note seminar under subject.

Religion is sounding more and more toxic to the generations coming into the mix now.

The desire for something more authentic and organic is strong. Can the church fit into the new schemata? I think so but our demeanor needs to continue to change.

The Christian population is becoming progressively more irreligious. Or, they are dropping out of church all together. The stretch isn’t just music anymore. I am seeing signs that this battle front in churches may be losing its teeth. But there is a real desire to become irreligious and it is a stretch.

I think the new pattern of church life that is spontaneous, simple, organic and anti-institutional is the only element growing today at any pace.

Bono in a U2 song “Under the Trash” expressed the agony of the new pursuit:

“I went looking for spirit and found alcohol; I went looking for soul, and I bought some style; I wanted to meet God but they sold me religion.”

I have been keeping the spiritual discipline of writing an essay on prayer five days a week. I’ll spare you my essays. They were written just for me and the start of an outline for a book. But I thought I’d share a quick glance of on an outline I did on the opening of the Lord’s Prayer.

Our Father in heaven

1. Our = community call to prayer. We pray within the context of those we journey with. Our prayers can never leave others behind.
2. Father = the attitude of God toward us. We must pray knowing we are in His heart. Not just Him in our hearts but we are in His. He is the beginner of all reality and the start of all praying.
3. In Heaven = a new vantage point. God is not stuck in our challenges. He is beyond and without them and able to reach in and free. We have a new template when we pray. We pattern our prayers after what is seen in heaven.

There is a minor tempest brewing in the marketplace and church about how the Millenials (twenty-something’s and younger) get along with Boomers (47 to 63). It wasn’t such a hard task for Busters/Gen X and Boomers to get along. My experience in working with churches showed that busters and boomers were close enough that they thrived or at least co-existed easily.

Now it isn’t so easy between Millenials and Boomers. Millenials have very different value systems. I am one that believes isolating generations too exactly is the wrong way to go. You give up a lot when one generation is faced with being challenged by another. It is really only ugly when the older group is gripped by fear and the younger gets caught up in pride of age.

Millenials can be best understood by a short hand description of how the generations view something as simple as work:

• Builders – viewed work as a necessary responsibility
• Boomers – viewed work as the source of life’s meaning and purpose.
• Busters/Gen X- viewed work as the way to doing what you really want.
• Millenials – work is in the way.

Millenials are very self-absorbed. Even more than Boomers, the group is very interested in the personal advantages to whatever they do. The church or business is not even considered let alone rebelled against. Just like all other generations at this age chronology they tend to like to hang out with the same ilk. The whole generation can feel like a bunch of narcissists. Boomers still can feel like they are the cure for all earth’s ills. Both views need to come into transformational contact with the Gospel.

What can Boomers learn and live with Millenials?

1. Understand they have no organizational loyalty at all.
2. Work is confining to them. You have to add fun to the equation.
3. Their personal pursuits and interests are of prime importance. There is little interest in the goals and aspiration of the larger group.
4. They want what their parents have but don’t want to sacrifice to get it. You will have to teach the benefits of sacrifice. And the law of sowing and reaping.
5. They have been raised where everyone wins a trophy even if you just showed up. They want a lot of praise for what seems as lackluster performance.
6. They are far more spontaneous and tend to like things organic and serendipitous as opposed to organized.
7. They distrust older folks in a different way. You will have to dispense of any expectations you will be respected. If your fortunate you might make a good temporary friend.

There will be much more to learn as the generations continue to interact.

I make part of my job reading books on outreach and evangelism.  I don’t often find any I’d recommend.  But I have one for you this month.  The book is titled “I Once Was Lost” by Dan Evert and Doug Schaup.  

The book is built around what they call five thresholds of evangelism for post-moderns in their journey to conversion.  These thresholds are: 

1. Distrust to trust
2. Complacent to curious
3. Closed to change to open to change
4. Meandering to seeking
5. Crossing the threshold into the Kingdom

The authors included some great material on how to assist our friends at each stage.  I think the material is also valuable for pastoral church leadership to understand the different thresholds our listeners could be facing. 

Go buy the book, you’ll be glad you did.

Open doors are the stuff of walking with the Holy Spirit.  I have a couple of open doors I thought I’d include in the blog this month. 

1. I am working with the Virginia Southern Baptists on a plan to start 300 churches in six years.  We are looking for candidates for church planting.  If you have any interest in planting a church anywhere drop me and email at - dmurren@square1.org.

2.  I am the lead pastor at a church in Boise, Idaho (New Heights) and we are looking for a worship leader. We are seeking someone in their mid-twenties with musical training and gifting in the area of leadership.  Drop me an email or call me at 206-391-9814 if you fit the bill.  We are hoping to interview 20 people. 

One of the creative and driving forces of the 70’s Jesus awakening died in February. I just heard about it yesterday. Larry Norman was a controversial figure in the Jesus People movement and for decades after. He left a touching note to his audience which can be found at his website www.larrynorman.com.

I met Larry three years ago in Salem, Oregon. He shared with me over lunch his concern that too many choruses were us singing to us, rather than directly to God. I told him many of the Psalms appear to do that but I inderstood his concern.

Larry was a rock star in a group called People early in his career. I loved their music. They had one great hit called, “I Love You” written by a British group called the Zombies. He left the group when half the members became devotees of Scientology.

He recorded the first Jesus Music piece in the late 60’s on Capitol records. One the greatest Christians songs of the era was on it, “I Wish We’d All Been Ready.” It was an apocalyptic song as many were early on in the scene. I played in an outreach rock band at the time that covered the song.

Larry was always an aggressive contrarian. But we could use more of his type from time to time. He ventured and created a whole new genre. He confronted lovingly a culture that was adrift in its own narcissism. He gave a new pathway and courage to a whole new army of musicians.

I wished I had had a few more conversations with Larry. He was eccentric but in a benign sort of way. At least that was my impression upon meeting him. He seemed to be difficult to get along with. But he had a fertile mind with the savvy of someone who had seen it all.

My prayer is some of the prattle in Christian musicdom and churchdom could be challenged and eclipsed by a few Larry Normans.

There are crucial dates in every era that mark the generations. December 7, 1941 was the day of the Pearl Harbor attacks that brought the U.S. into a war that marked our history for generations. The atomic age was introduced on August 6, 1947. Thank God no other such attack has been deemed necessary. Yet the fear of our nuclear age has impressed multiple generations. October 28th and 29th, 1929 were the dates the stock market crashed and ushered in the Great Depression. It took 26 years for the Dow to recover to the point it had reached in 1929. And in our near term September 11, 2001 weighs heavy on the hearts of all generations of our time.

Today, 1968 is a year that everyone is still impacted by. This year numerous benign and many not so benign events occurred. The Beatles started Apple Records and Yoko split the band up. Rowan and Martin started the first hip TV show called “Laugh-In.” But not all events brought smiles that year. The Broadway musical “Hair” was the rage that year as well, along with the movie that made Dustin Hoffman famous, “The Graduate.”

This was the year the 1968 Democratic convention turned into war in the streets as thousands of students marched in protest against the war in Vietnam. Distrust in the government rose high. This was the year Martin Luther King was murdered in Memphis.

It was also the year Bobby Kennedy was assassinated in L.A.

There still abides an undercurrent of attitudes and worldviews that etched their way out of that year. Among those are: distrust for the government, wild rock and roll, generational tension, and resistance to any war.

However, 1968 also was the beginning of a great movement called the “Jesus People Movement.” This movement sought to make the Gospel intelligible to an unchurched generation known as the Baby Boomers. It was a spontaneous explosion for the most part. Most contemporary movements in the church can trace at least part of their roots back to this movement. Christianity bought into the idea of accessibility and the expectation of experiencing God rather than discussing God.

Who knows what future years will hold for us. But it is likely and in fact hopeful that we could see another banner year like 1968. I have been plumbing the shape of the Jesus People explosion. I feel in its core it has been the only spontaneous general movement in our century other than the Pentecostal renewal. Today’s great movements in church owe a great deal to 1968.

I think sometimes we Christ seekers are a little afraid of being prideful. God was proud of His Son. He even seemed too proud of a mess-up like David. Paul was proud of Timothy. Pride can be a humble thing.

I am proud of both my kids. They are both very different people. They both have taken life on, challenges and all, and succeeded. And I think in many ways much more than I have. And that makes you proud. I would have to say I am proud to take some credit for the heights they have achieved. But also being careful to not take more than I deserve. If I did I wouldn’t be appropriately proud of them.

Both my kids married well. It brings a lot of security to a dad to see that they were wise and chose wonderful partners that even you like. It’s interesting to take pride in choices your kids make especially when its about other people you knew little about and had little if anything to do with the choice.

Sometimes you’re proud of people who’d rather you weren’t. I have a ministry understudy who became a master of his trade. He has succeeded to the max. I am proud of him but I am certain he doesn’t regard my input as all that pleasant or important. I was a tough son of gun of a number of years but many benefited from it. And I am proud of them. Not so much of me but am happy I was able to be associated with a portion of their life and development.

My wife made me proud too. She finished her bachelors degree at age 49. She is teaching kids and loving it. She was so persistent sometimes to the point of tears as she worked through the courses. I felt like I had earned the degree myself.

I’d have to say the proudest day of my life was the day my dad retired. My dad was a fire chief for a few decades. It is not an easy job. I grew up with his being out around the clock many nights, falling into burning buildings, and being blown out of some across alleys. I also remember the humongous amount of coffee he and his firemen drank. I don’t know why I remember that, but I do. They drank it around the clock.

I led in a prayer at the large event held for him. I knew he was well liked and supported but I had no idea how much. They had to rent the convention center in the small town I grew up in. There about eight hundred people who showed up. I was so proud. One person after another gave a speech about how well my dad had done. I could tell he was glad that part of his life was over.

He still has a fire and police radio in his house. When I stay at their house it just seems like old times with the calls blaring out through the house. I really hope that my church, my family, my friends, my God and my wife will be as proud of me. But that will be a hard one to pull off.

Lets make this month the - I am proud of __________ month!

I have ten truths that I think everyone needs to follow to stay healthy and in the battle.

I have concluded I must believe in these things to be standing tall at the end of the fight.

1. Everyone dies. I should treasure lives around me. I should be prepared for the loss of those I love. And I should remember I have been given one life and then the judgment.
2. There is forgiveness. There is always the second change. Col. 1:14
3. Pain is inevitable and even good. I shouldn’t spend any of life’s energies trying to avoid it but embrace it and grow through it…Romans 5
4. Everything changes. Just go with the flow we were made to change. II Cor. 3
5. Things always end up better than you think…Romans 8.
6. Letting go is freedom. Phil.
7. You always reap what you sow. You get out exactly what you put in.
8. Life isn’t fair. But God is. Job
9. God works the night shift. Eph. 5:8…I can sleep and rest and he keeps working.
10. There is eternal life – John 3:15

If you live long enough you outlive a few friends and numerous pets. Grief becomes a necessary tool of life. And I think replenishing your circle of relationships, both animals and human, becomes essential. But loss is an unavoidable pain for all of us. Some of us have gotten more practice than others as we age.

Boomers are just beginning to enter those years when the kids are gone – which is a loss that hurts. A few friends have begun to die early and unexpectedly. Their parents are beginning to reach their twilight years. And the world just doesn’t seem all that hospitable after all.

This brings us to an interesting phase in Boomer growth. Eighty-four million people are entering some of the most painful years they will face. And when you add to that the loss of physical viability, it can be a bewildering time. It’s always been the case but never has one-third of the population faced this same phase of life at once.

Over my five decades of time I have lost a lot of stuff. And I have grieved over them sometimes for years. It doesn’t seem to get any easier but it does make more sense somehow. I cry hard every time I have to end a visit with my kids who live only ten hours away. But it’s like a million miles to me. I think of them as little tikes, crawling around the house with dirty bobs in their miles, all the little baseball games and times when we were both growing up together trying to figure out what in the heck was going on.

I have a pick-up truck that has 173k miles on it. My dad gave it to me when it was new. I will never part with it. A chunk of my dad lives in my heart in that truck. The thought of not having a place to park it brings grief to my heart. Things even have a grief factor when they are lost. I went through a rough time when I couldn’t afford my house and had to sell it. I still have pictures of it. The loss was crushing. But I have a new house now. And still I miss things about the old one.

This week I faced the loss of another part of my life. Our dog Rocky hadn’t been feeling well. He’s a ten-year-old red heeler. I would have to say he’s the best dog I have ever known. I have lost several dogs but this one hurts. I did have a Springer spaniel named Freckles when I was 17. I loved that dog. She followed me everywhere I went. She’d wait outside stores for me to return. We drove a roofless jeep together like pals. I couldn’t own a dog for years after I lost Freckles.

We found Rocky has a very enlarged heart. I took him to the vet to find out why he wasn’t doing well. She found Rocky had an arrhythmia in his heart. The specialist found he had torn some valves. He had a mild case of congestive heart failure. I asked the usual question, what the prognosis was. The doctor said, “one year.” It hit me hard and I started crying which was embarrassing for everyone. I am a pretty tough guy. But thought of knowing my pal would be gone within a year hit me like a baseball bat hurled into my gut.

Rocky has always had a bad habit of begging at the table. The night I brought him home I fed him from my plate. What the heck! He loved it. He also has a bad habit of barking when there is any movement in the house. Man, that bark sounds like music now. It’s amazing how many thing become endearing when you’ve lost what you love.

I am not sure how things will go for Rocky. The vet said we would need to plan to put him down within the year. My wife, Lori, has relied on Rocky in my absences and rough times we all face. She is going to take the time hard. But at least we know its coming. And we can spoil the old boy.

This year I also lost a friend. Actually we had become mildly estranged. I regret I didn’t make an attempt to see him when I move from Seattle to Boise. He just fell over dead the day after Christmas. He was three years younger than me. And easily the best songwriter I have known. We traveled speaking and singing together several times. He had the bad habit of giving my musical gear away to those who needed it. He would just look at me and say, “you’re not any good anyway and they need it.” I was usually speechless, but laughed. Now I wish he’d given away everything I had so I could cherish more stunned moments.

It is amazing how many things that bothered you when someone was alive seem so healing when you face loss. This will be a good year for Rocky. We have some meds for him that will help him have a more normal year for himself. But he will be gone. I have decided we should get another dog. I will likely outlive the new one, too. But I will never forget Rocky. We are going to have some portraits taken of us with Rocky. He looks a little weaker than he did in his prime but we will have a little shrine and laugh about his barking and how much fun it was to feed him from the table.